TONY
ROI-YOU CAN'T FOOL ME!
Okay, so after
checking out your site, I noticed the name TONY ROI keeps
popping up. I thought I'd see what all the buzz was about. So, I go
to this Music City Center Theatre. I'm going to see this musical,
"magical", "medicinal", joy-bringing man who is at least the equal
of ELVIS.
I was disgusted with
the whole thing. The man couldn't get through one song without a lot
of screaming. I got stuck in the second row, which was bad because a
lot of the screamers were down in front.
I guess he sings alright but he was sweating like TOM JONES. Okay,
so maybe his voice is better than alright. And he did dance. He put
me in the mind of a snake being held over a fire at the end of a
long pole. It's clear to me that this man couldn't possibly have
back trouble like me.
I don't think any of the ladies in the crowd had back trouble
either. Give me a break! We're talking women who should be home
rubbing liniment on their aches and pains. They should be behaving
like mature conservative women. Yet here they
are yelling and hopping around like baby bunny rabbits!
I saw two girls on the front row I figured to be about 15-17 from
all the hollering, giggling, and jumping around. I found out later
that they're in their 40's! You wouldn't believe how people acted in
this crowd! Some were just shameless having a grand old time and
making wolf-howls at this singer. I'm sure I'd never seen anything
quite like it.
I suppose the band and the girl backup singers were pretty good.
They seemed to enjoy performing. But like this TONY, it couldn't be
real. No one has that much energy.
Also there were women who would actually take these flimsy strips of
scarves up and let this TONY fellow wipe off his face and chest.
Then he'd put the scarf around the lady's neck and kiss her. These
were definitely not the same women I'd seen coming into the show.
These women had sparkling eyes, big smiles, and almost glowed with
happiness. Some were acting downright giddy!
At one point in the show, Mr. Roi invited the audience to come up
and have a picture taken with him if they wanted. I was shocked at
the number of people that did this. Wanting to show everyone how
silly this was, I got in line to go up. I boldly walked up on the
stage and looked this TONY right in the eye, and he kissed me. I was
appalled at him, but more-so at myself. It wasn't that repulsive. In
fact, it was kind of nice. I decided he must have noticed me in the
audience and thought I was special. I did have the feeling at times
that he was singing directly to me. But I was still determined not
to like him--he couldn't fool me!
Not wanting to miss a trick, I had to wait for intermission to use
the restroom. I hurried through, got a quick Pepsi from the
concession area and got back to my seat. I wanted to observe more of
these older groupies!
They weren't all women. Probably some were unwilling husbands who
got dragged to the show. I noticed the crowd wasn't any one age
group. There were some little kids there who actually seemed to
enjoy the music. But, you know kids. And maybe a few of the men were
also getting into it. I had heard some masculine voices yelling in
approval. They were probably just trying to stay on the good side of
their wives.
I can't say I didn't get my money's worth. The show lasted a little
over two hours, though it went by a little fast. When the
performance was over and I was heading out, I noticed people
stopping to buy pictures, DVDs, CDs, and other goodies like they
were going out of style.
I bought a great picture of ELVIS, but it turned out to be
TONY ROI. Well, I supposed I'd get myself a CD to keep me awake on
the way home. I decided to go ahead and get the DVD as well. Then I
figured I'd better buy the picture of TONY and me onstage. I didn't
want anyone else seeing the evidence.
As I was going through the door, some lady eyeballed my stuff and
asked if I'd enjoyed the show. I told her, "I guess it was alright."
She gave me a strange look and again at everything I had in my
hands. I just shrugged and went on into the hallway.
There I saw that a line had formed and I wedged my way in. What was
happening here anyway? When the line dwindled, I saw TONY ROI
talking, signing autographs, and posing for pictures. I wondered if
he was going to take the time to visit with everyone. He did.
Now, come on! No one is that interested in a bunch of strangers.
Maybe he just happened to know every one personally. That's the way
he was acting.
I finally got my turn and looked right into his eyes. He smiled like
he was genuinely glad to see me. I was thinking, "This guy is good!"
He spoke softly and asked how I liked the show. I handed him
everything I'd bought and answered' "It was fine." He smiled again
and bent his head to sign my 'TONY-scented' scarf. I studied his
damp black hair, his long eyelashes, and the beads of perspiration
of his forehead. I thought, "He's got to be worn out; he shouldn't
look that good!"
TONY signed the DVD case, the CD case, the ELVIS look-alike picture,
and the picture from the stage. Then he leaned over, kissed me, and
said "Thanks for coming". I heard myself saying, "No problem. I'll
be back."
I turned away and walked down the hall on rubbery legs humming
"Devil in Disguise". I found myself thinking, "You can't fool me,
TONY.
You think I'm special!
Oh yes, I will be back!"
-BSK
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